Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

Do you like high heels?

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

What is the experience of wearing a school uniform every day? Do people typically get used to it or dislike it?

I know who the president of Turkey really is

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I have complete contempt for traitorism

What are some important works of Marcel Proust (novelist)?

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

What are some of your shocking stories?

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I have a black elbow sleeve leotard that I wear with sheer pantyhose. Should I keep my pants off and show my legs?

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

What is the correct way to say "you're welcome" in French? Is it "de rien" or something else, and if so, what is it exactly (including accent marks)?

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

What are some dirty secrets of Indian (Bollywood, etc.) actors and actresses?

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

Scientists release a statement after identifying a strange object in space emitting signals to Earth every 44 minutes. - Farmingdale Observer

I see through liars

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

What is it like to have an insanely beautiful girlfriend?

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

United States roster at 2026 Olympics will differ from 4 Nations Face-Off, GM says - NHL.com

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

Having Low Levels Of This Vitamin Can Cause Dry Eyes. Are You Getting Enough? - Women's Health

I understand how hurricane paths work

I actually pay taxes

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

What is chudai?

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I don’t buy bullshit

Why am I not getting any atheists to debate with? Are they scared?

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

11 Sneaky Reasons You're So Gassy, According to Experts - EatingWell

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I have complete contempt for fakery

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I can read

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I have a reading level above third grade

I don’t cotton to rapists

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I can count